History does not belong in a relationship that is present
My friend, Jack Rafferty, the famous Man-Woman Coach, used to say "do not clean the clean" referring of course to relationship. What he meant by that was once you have gotten angry, argued, and "effectively deal with" something that happened that hurt your feelings, be done with it. Do not keep bringing it up like dirty laundry. Once you have forgiven someone for something, it's history. . The conflict, resistance to new concepts, stored resentment and revenge for old hurts, that happens in most relationships relating back to those three words "effectively deal with", which unfortunately in most cases, is not what happens.
For most couples, the barometer for intimate relationships is sex. If your sex life is hot and exciting and fun, chances are you have a pretty clean relationship. When there is trouble in the bedroom, usually it's an indication that there are a lot of cobwebs and dirt stuck in the corners of your intimate relationship and that you or your partner have shut down some avenues of communication.
What do I mean?
Let's say your partner does not show up for a date with you. You manage to get through the evening and get home to find him / her home, relaxing, having absolutely forgotten that he / she was to have met you somewhere. You get into a heated argument about his / her lack of consideration and a lot of I'm sorry's are exchanged.
Was that effectively dealing with the situation? Hardly.
The resentment still exists on both sides. What do I mean both sides? Well, this is my theory. The person who did not show up was already carrying resentment and unconsciously, carried out revenge in a passive aggressive manner by missing the appointment. The person who got stuck up never got satisfaction in the resolution and now carries his / her own resentment, which will surface again at another time. This couple does not have a clean relationship.
Payback goes on in every relationship at some time or another. It is comparable to the accumulation of junk in your house. Just as spring cleaning gets rid of dust bunnies under the bed and cobwebs behind the bookcases, periodic cleansing sessions in your relationships will restore freshness and vitality to your love. Few couples understand this or know what to do about it. Some religious organizations have retreats for married couples where they do some of the work I am about to suggest, however, the catastrophic divorce rate in our country indicates that very little of this kind of work is attempted or completed by married couples. Even highly enlightened, aware couples require some nudging to maintain the level of squeaky clean communication that I am referring to.
Here is a suggestion for a process that can be used to clean house.
Relationship Spring Cleaning.
Making the kids bathroom unique is fun and easy to do. Get yourself a pen and paper and sit down with your kids and ask them a few questions. First rule of thumb is NEVER ask the kids "Hey John and Mike we are going to decorate the bathroom what would you like to do?" Why? Because they are children and you will get all sorts of colors and ideas that might be amazing, but then maybe also start a fight and confuse the heck out of you. So okay now I hear you asking what questions should I ask them? Well let me give you a list that will give you many great ideas:
What are your favorite colors?
What are your favorite TV shows or movies?
What kind of things do you like to do?
What is your favorite sport?
What is your favorite Books?
Okay that is enough to get you going. Now take the ideas the kids cave you and put them together. First, what is your favorite color? If you have one child it's easier, of course if you have more then one, things get a little more interesting. Let's stick with John and Mike for our examples and say that John likes blue and Mike likes green. Great now you have the colors for the room. Two colors can be fun. You can go one of two ways. Number one would be stripes, paint the whole room blue and then, when dry, tape off sections for stripes and paint just those green. My suggestion would be that if you have a small bath area, then go with light colors. You can get some paint chips of different colors you like from the blue and green paint family and ask Mike to pick the green he likes and John to pick the blue.
The second way to go is to find a border you like and paint the top half of your wall green and the bottom half blue and when the paint is dry use the border like a chair rail to cover where the two colors meet. What borders do I pick? Well that goes along with the theme and we will address that shortly.
Question number two was, what are your favorite TV shows or movies? Okay here, depending on how old you kids are, may have to help a little. If they give you seven different shows and movies well you may have to narrow it down a little. Say the boys like the movie cars, well that's easy. You can get borders for the movie cars at most home improvement centers, or if you like you can order them on line. Shower curtains are fun and there are also many themed that you can choose from or if one does not fit what you want then pick one with fun colors that fit the colors you already chose.
The final question, what kind of things do you like to do? …
Being a winning slot machine player is impossible. All slot machines are specifically designed in order to give the house a long term edge, so the house will always come out ahead if you play long enough. The only real way to counteract the house edge on slot machine games is to play a game with a really big jackpot, bet the max every time you play, and hope that you hit the jackpot. Then when you do hit the really big jackpot, guess what you do next? Stop playing that game.
Do not get me wrong. I'm not saying that you should not play slot machines. In fact, I think slot games, especially the really good ones, are a lot of fun. But you want to keep in the forefront of your mind that mathematically, what you're doing when you're playing a slot machine on a long term basis is paying for entertainment. You can calculate how much you're paying for that entertainment by multiplying the house edge times your average bet times your number of spins per hour.
For example, if you're playing a slot game with a payout of 95%, then the house edge is 5%. (The casino keeps 5% of every bet you make long term.) And if you're average bet is $ 3, then you're going to pay an average of 15 cents per spin to the house. (5% times $ 3.) Assuming you're making 500 spins per hour, that game costs you $ 75 / hour to play, which may or may not be a reasonable price for you entertainment. That depends on your bankroll.
Something else to factor into your calculation is how much the perks and bonuses you're getting back from the casino are worth. If you're playing in a land-based casino where you're getting free drinks while you play, then you can subtract the cost of those drinks from you're hourly cost. (Or you can add the cost of those drinks to the value of the entertainment you're receiving – it's just a matter of perspective.) My recommendation is to drink top-shelf liquor and premium beers in order to maximize the entertainment value you 'Re receiving. A Heineken can cost $ 4 a bottle in a nice restaurant. Drink two Heinekens an hour, and you've just lowered what it costs you to play each hour from $ 75 to $ 68.
Slot clubs also give back a percentage of your losses each hour, so definitely be sure you join the casino's slot club and ALWAYS use your card to track your play. There's absolutely no reason not to do this. Casinos also reward their larger slot players with comps like meals, show tickets, and free rooms, which all add up to reduce the amount of money you're spending each hour that you're playing on their machine.
So how to be a winning slot machine player? I'd sum it up by saying know how much it's costing you to play each spin …